… an old man an ass-whuppin’, as shown in this classic SNL sendup of the classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.”

I have way more enthusiasm for Christmas than anyone of my snarky peer group ought to, something which I’ve written about previously.

Having said that, I DO draw the line at Frank Capra. Give me the “Married With Children” holiday chestnut “It’s a Bundyful Life” (featuring the late, great Sam Kinison in the role of the angel trying to get his wings) instead.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=58zgDXwXFlQ]

And while we’re on the topic of holiday giving, I’m kinda liking this Burger King holiday ad campaign that taps into my particular feeling about Christmas – slightly wistful, slightly sardonic.

Adweek did a number on the campaign:

The fast-food chain this week kicked off its “Dollar Holidays” e-card promotion. The effort, which is being handled by BK’s lead agency, Crispin Porter + Bogusky, and PR firm Edelman, allows consumers to send a holiday card containing a real dollar bill to those who are at the bottom of their gift list. As BK puts it on its Web site: “Casual friends don’t deserve second-rate gifts.”

There are 20 e-cards in the collection, and each costs $1 to send. Senders can decide on the tone and type of card. A “casual friend,” for instance, would receive a card that says, “I think you’re special, though I have no evidence to back that up,” while a “virtual stranger” would receive something like, “Happy Holidays, What’s-Your-Face.”

Another personal favorite is the one displayed at the Adweek site, “Happy Holidays, valued blog follower.”

Marketing wonks will note that CP+B’s BK campaigns have been hit and miss all year, which is fine by me, as long as the hits are clever enough to make you forget about the misses. And I think they hit this one outta the park.

Dear Porn Industry,

I know times are hard (heh). But I was checking out the AVN awards nominees, and boy, am I depressed.

They say success can be ruinous, and in this case, the success of my girl Hillary’s Brady Bunch parody has done a real number on the geniuses who are the creative forces behind the adult industry.

Yes, parodies hold a special place in the heart of both porn hounds and those who create them, but half the fun was butchering the name of the source of the parody. But this year we have a slew of parodies that borrow from the “Brady Bunch” idea, leaving the name intact: “The Jeffersons,” “Scrubs,” “30 Rock” … Come on now! You couldn’t do ANYTHING with “30 Rock”?!

For better and for worse, I expect more from porn. Having worked in it as a writer myself, I’m acutely aware of both the dearth of cleverness within as well as the little sparklers of genius that exist. I have read porn copy every bit as witty as any pop culture medium that exists, and that is why I know you can do better.

I know that porn is just like every other industry, and in hard times creative teams get laid off more than they get laid. Next thing you know, your douchey CEO is coming up with shit because his coke-fueled delusions, along with an inner circle of equally coked-up and delusional sycophants, have convinced him that he’s funny.

He’s not.

Let’s show some pride in our porn, people. And yes, I am available at a reasonable salary.

Love,

Olde Nasty

P.S. I didn’t think the Sarah Palin parody was particularly compelling, but I put it up there ‘cos it didn’t have naughty bits on it. And contrary to this post, this is not a porn blog.