Oh, please believe that I have a very sharp ideology-based opinion about both Tim Tebow’s anti-abortion ad and CBS’ decision to air it during the Super Bowl this year.

But I think I’ll avoid being Cap’n Obvious this time. If you’re familiar with this blog and my other work, your anticipatory assessment will suffice just fine.

What really matters is … why? And I’m arguing from a completely non-political position. Who thinks this is the appropriate venue for such an ad? Sure, proponents of the sentiment will crow that it’s as good as any. But what about the beer-suckin’, chili-chompin’, funny-ad-watchin’ fair weather fan driving the demo?

In other words, what about me, what do I get?

Bupkus. It’s just like last year, when they ran that Zoloft commercial. You know, the one with the sad little guy, the one that stops your Super Bowl party in its tracks? I mean, God forbid your team is getting its ass kicked when that one comes on, or you’ll be putting that nacho down and reaching for a gun.

Also, what about poor Coors Light or E-Trade or whatever advertiser unfortunate enough to get their hilarious spot (meant to launch an entire campaign and costing millions to produce and air) slotted next to the buzzkill ad of the century? Kinda dims the spotlight on your spot when some genius has just introduced the most divisive issue of our time into the collective American living room, right before yours with the talking monkey.

(And spare me with “That’s the point.” If you think valuable dialogue that moves us forward as a nation is gonna happen with bellies full of booze ‘n’ beanie weenies poised before a demonstration of both militaristic violence and supercondensed capitalism, I’ll assume punditry is not your profession.)

Oh well. Luckily, progress has provided a new tool in exercising democracy and speech equity – the DVR. Tebow is no match for Tivo.

However, if they run that ad during the Puppy Bowl, I’ll be REALLY upset.